A Love Letter Gone Wrong

My little Sleepy Prince,

I decided to write to you, even though you are probably never going to read this. There are so many things I need to say, and you never give me the chance.
I’ve been having this unhealthy obsession with you for the last couple of weeks. You are pretty much the only thing I can think about. And I’m really starting to hate it. There are so many things going on in my life right now and I can’t concentrate on anything else. I wake up and it’s you – the first thing that comes to my mind. No matter whether I go to work or stay at home, try to watch TV or read a book, listen to music or go hang out with my friends; my every other thought is about you. It’s unbearable… I’ve got my education to worry about; my “temporary” job I’ve been working for the last two years is shaking more than ever… I’ve got my big immigration plans that I’ve just started to put in motion… But it all seems insignificant compared to you. It’s like nothing else really matters. I’m putting all my efforts in trying to be with you, and it’s so frustrating every time you cut me off. I know you never promised anything to me, I know you never gave me any false hopes. I know my feelings are my own problem – mine to deal with. But the mixed signals you’re sending absolutely do not help at all.
It’s still a mystery to me how it happened. I thought I was at a place in my life where I finally had it all figured out. There was this simple plan I had to follow. I thought I had everything I needed... And then came you. I don’t even know why I like you. The fact that I’m so deeply, irrationally, impossibly in love with you shocks me every time. And still, I am! There’s nothing I can do about it. Even worse, every time I try to fight it, it hits me even stronger. I know not what to do.

***

Actually, I’m so pissed off with you right now. “Looking for the Prince”? Really!? Come on, give me a break! So what is that supposed to mean – “looking”? I guess that you haven’t found him. You still haven’t met him? … In other words it’s not me! I don’t stand a chance?! Have you ever had that under consideration? You’re so full of shit, you know! And I’m such a dumb idiot! Or am I? Guess you’re just not that into me?! And I guess I have my answer… I’ll just need to learn how to deal with it.

Well, screw you. You lose!

The Small Town Life of a Big City Boy

“My therapist said that I should keep a diary… it’s supposed to be therapeutical… But who does that anymore? I mean I’m not 2^nd grade. Plus there’s the internet and stuff :). So I decided it should be a blog instead.” That’s probably how I would’ve started this if I actually had a big stressful busy life that required a therapist. In fact, even though I live in the second biggest city in the country, my life is rather quiet and uneventful, lacking big drama and excitement. Still I sometimes feel as if something is really wrong with me and I can’t determine what. Maybe I do need therapy after all.

Hi, my name is Drago. I’m not an alcoholic, I’ve got no gambling issues, I don’t abuse any drugs, and I don’t have any trouble sleeping. And I so wish one of the above was true, because this way I would at least know what my problem is.